Category Archives: Pornography

The Heart of the Matter

The Heart Of The Matter

29 Oct 14
anonymous
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The Heart Of The Matter: AKA Sometimes God “Taketh Away”
So That You Learn To Give More

Many thanks to NWCHI for hosting a screening of my documentary film, The Heart of the Matter, in September 2014 and also for allowing me to guest blog and plug my wonderful film to you all. I am going to share with you a little of how this film came to be.

It was October of 2011. Despite being in conversations with a cable station for months, I had just found out that my production company was not going to be hired for a regular series. I had been so sure that I would be getting the biggest contract of my career, but my concepts were ultimately rejected. I’d been so blindly confident that I’d be heading up a new show, that I literally had no plan B.

Weeks later I was lamenting about it all to my wonderful sister-in-law and expressing to her that I had NO IDEA what to do next. And she said to me, in effect, “You know what, maybe it’s God’s plan. Maybe he wants you to start working on your documentary.” Then it hit me – hard – Yeah, that’s what I am supposed to do. So Holly is really to thank for getting me off my whiney butt and in gear pursuing a project I’d had in mind for over 2 years.

The Heart of the Matter

The Heart of the Matter

As early as the fall of 2009, the seed was planted. I was sifting through footage for my job, repurposing old content. (Good times :).) It was here that I came across a few programs that mentioned pornography addiction and how it was affecting marriages and families. Although I didn’t know anyone who struggled with a pornography addiction (Or so I thought.), it got me thinking and eventually researching on the topic, because I had heard frequently in church that it was a problem.

I read books, blogs, and research papers; watched videos; and listened to many personal accounts. During 2010, I began talking about the issues out loud with people. I’d learned enough to know that shame was the biggest roadblock to healing and prevention. So just talking about it in casual ways opened my eyes to how much it did affect people I cared about. A few male co-workers allowed themselves to admit that they “struggled in the past”. A few of my college girl friends began talking about the real reasons their marriages had ended. Eventually, I began to see the red flags in people’s behaviors and know that several of my own family members were struggling with pornography in their lives.

But my drive for this project got lost in 2011 because I had plenty of contract work. It wasn’t until I had ZERO WORK on my plate did I think to pursue the film again. My work and income had to dry up in order for me to push myself down a new path – and become an independent film producer and director. I’ve had this gut feeling that I would not get any lasting work until I made this film. And it’s been hard. Really hard.

Over the 3-year process of working on this film, I’ve continued to be stripped down and humbled. I’ve gone from having an over-inflated view of my talents to simply trying to rely on God to make things work the way He wants them to. I lost my home, a dear friend, and my savings. But I gained a lot of valuable knowledge on the issues, met a host of amazing new people, and continue to learn some hard but important life lessons. I feel like God took me down to almost nothing, so that I could be in the right frame of mind to make something truly useful for Him and for all of you.

And here it is. It is finished. I am so pleased with the final product. I could not have done it without God, Holly, Jordan, my parents, Nathan and so many others.

I hope you watch this amazing film. It could save your life or the life of someone you love. Sadly pornography is tearing apart our families and marriages, but here is a film that in just 75 minutes brings a remedy by finding honest, vulnerable, and non-shaming ways to talk about a difficult subject. There is hope. There is healing.

Purchase your copy here.

May God continue to bless all of our lives.

Good Pictures, Bad Pictures

25 Sep 14
anonymous
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Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Front Cover

Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Front Cover

As a recovering sexaholic there is a lot of shame that goes along with pornography for me. This shame creates quite a conundrum for me when I think about trying to talk about this with my kids who are pretty young and really have no concept of what pornography is and how it can affect a person. I start feeling anxious and overwhelmed when I

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Forgiveness: The Ride of a Lifetime

15 Aug 14
anonymous
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amusement partAs a child, my favorite fall activity was going to local county fair. I loved the crowds, the smells, the sights, and most especially – the rides. My first stop was always the carousel, and then the Ferris wheel, followed by bumper cars. I loved all the rides but one – the funhouse. Every year I would stand in front of the funhouse wondering if I really wanted to go in. It always took some coaxing from my mom and friends, but would eventually go in. Trying to forgive during my husband’s addiction reminds me of finding my way through a funhouse. The process was full of distortions, uneven footing, and sometimes I was very confused and lost. I did find my way out eventually, but it wasn’t an easy journey.

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The Secret Weapon for Protecting Kids from Unhealthy Sexualization

30 Jul 14
anonymous

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dadand aughter

Have you ever worried about how to protect your family from an overly sexualized world? If you have, you are not alone. Lots of parents wonder how they can protect their children from pornography use, addiction or problematic sexual behavior. Discussions about protecting children and teens usually center on using internet filters to keep children from seeing unhealthy images. Filters are important and it is crucial that you have a good one in place, but filters alone are not enough.

No matter how hard parents try to protect their family from negative influences, unhealthy sexuality is everywhere. It is imperative that children incrementally learn about human sexuality in developmentally appropriate ways. Parents need to teach teens and young adults what healthy sexuality is

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Who are you?

08 Jul 14
anonymous
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20140708-071853-26333885.jpg

I have recently made myself aware of my vast number of inadequacies. Even more, I have realized that some of those inadequacies add up to behavior that I can’t control on my own. I have sought counseling. I have joined a twelve step program, Sexaholics Anonymous. I am constantly making phone calls, sharing my feelings and really tough emotions with other men who struggle with similar problems.

Sharing emotions with other men? Men don’t do that. At least not with how I was raised.

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Porn Harms

27 Oct 13
nic

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Pornharms.com is the leading national organization opposing pornography and indeecency through public education and the application of the law.

What is Sexaholics Anonymous?

30 Sep 13
anonymous
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Sexaholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover.

Fortify

27 Sep 13
anonymous
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fortify has free online training.

 
Become the person you want to be
Don’t let pornography stand in your way